Keeping your independence

It's not unusual to be afraid of losing your independence and your dignity. It can feel demoralizing to become physically dependent on others. Many times it feels easier to accept help of an intimate kind (washing or going to the bathroom) from a professional caregiver than from your close family or friends. If you feel this way, ask your doctor or social worker to help you find assistance.

Even if you do need daily care, you can feel independent in other ways. Don't hesitate to indicate specifically how you would like to be helped. For example, you could set the schedule for getting up, washing and dressing, or organize a rotation for other family members. Families and friends are usually happy to comply with what you request in order to show how much they care. Following your requests may prevent misunderstandings and resentments if things do not go right all the time. Having them follow your wishes will help you feel that your life is still your own.

Some people may prefer to stay in their own familiar surroundings, but some may choose to move, perhaps because they live alone. You may find it helpful to discuss with your family and friends the various options for where you prefer to be looked after.