Sorting out relationships

Besides practical matters, you may decide there are personal ties you want to touch base on. You may have, for example, old friends you want to see, or perhaps even long-standing disagreements you want to make up. If you want to contact someone you have not been in touch with for some time, you try writing, emailing or calling them. Tell them about your illness and ask them to visit or get in touch with you. Approached with this sort of openness, old arguments can often be healed.

You may find yourself thinking a lot about the past, talking about joys, regrets and fears, going over events in your mind, perhaps going through old photo albums. You may want to visit places again, such as somewhere you used to live. If you are no longer able to get around by yourself, ask someone to take you or come with you.

You may also find yourself thinking about the future, and grieving for a time when you are no longer there. You may like to write letters to people who are dear to you, or perhaps prepare a sound or video tape, to be given to them after your death. Some people like to write down as much of the family history as they can remember so that children or grandchildren have your personal account. You might even consider getting the children to help create a scrapbook.

Despite how sad these tasks may seem, they can help you find comfort together with your family and friends. The important thing is to do what feels right for you at the time that seems best.